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When Therapy Alone Isn’t Enough — Complex Family Systems and High-Conflict Divorce in Colorado

When a child stops wanting to see a parent, most people assume the solution is therapy. Find a good counselor, get the child into sessions, and let the healing begin. That assumption is understandable. It is also incomplete, and in the most difficult cases, acting on it without the right framework can make things worse. Complex family systems therapy is a different discipline entirely. It addresses the cases where estrangement has taken hold, conflict has calcified over months or years, and the standard therapeutic model simply does not fit what the family actually needs. Every Member of the System Has a Role The most common misconception in these cases is that the problem belongs to two people: the child and the parent they’ve pulled away from. In reality, the entire family system is involved. The favored parent, the extended family, even the attorneys in the room can contribute to the dynamic that keeps conflict alive. That means effective treatment requires participation from ev...
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080: Creating a Child-Centered Parenting Plan: How to Build Predictability, Peace, and Emotional Safety After Divorce

In this solo episode of the Children First Family Law® podcast, Krista explores one of the most essential tools for helping children thrive after separation or divorce—a thoughtful, child-centered parenting plan. Drawing from years of experience as a family law attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator, Krista explains how clarity, predictability, and flexibility can create emotional safety for children during family transitions. She breaks down how to design developmentally appropriate parenting schedules from infancy through adolescence and explains why focusing on stability rather than strict equality best supports a child’s well-being. Krista also covers shared decision-making, communication strategies, managing holidays and vacations, handling new relationships, and addressing common pitfalls like technology use and “right of first refusal” clauses. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes that clarity is love, predictability is safety, and structure is one of the greatest gif...
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079: When Typical Therapy Isn’t Enough: Navigating Complex Family Systems, with Dr. Marlene Bizub

Some of the most difficult family law cases aren’t just high conflict — they’re entrenched. In this episode of the Children First Family Law® Podcast, Krista Nash sits down with Dr. Marlene Bizub, a Colorado psychologist specializing in complex family systems therapy, to examine the cases that most therapists won’t take and why that reluctance carries real consequences for children. Dr. Bizub brings years of experience working with families where parent-child estrangement has reached a critical level. She breaks down what this work actually requires: why every family member must be involved, why recovery is measured in months or years rather than sessions, and how labels like “alienation” and “narcissist” often cloud the picture rather than clarify it. This is a conversation every parent, attorney, and mental health professional in the family law space needs to hear. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between intentional parental alienation and protective behavior tha...
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The Words Co-Parents Use — and Why They Matter More Than They Think

Most co-parents going through separation focus on the big decisions — parenting schedules, legal agreements, who gets what. What they underestimate is something far more immediate: the language they use with each other every single day. The words that show up in a text message at 7 a.m., in a drop-off conversation, in a response to a scheduling request — these shape the entire climate of a co-parenting relationship, often more than any court order ever will. Co-Parenting Is a Job One of the most useful reframes for post-separation parenting is also one of the most practical: treat it like a job share. Two people, regardless of their personal history, have a shared professional obligation — to communicate, make decisions, solve problems, and resolve conflict around the needs of their children. The emotional intimacy of the former relationship is gone. What replaces it is something more structured: courtesy, professionalism, and a clear understanding of what the job actually requires. ...
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078: Top 10 Things to Things to Consider When Contemplating Divorce, from a Child Advocate’s View

In this episode of Children First Family Law, Krista guides you through the intricacies of divorce using a child-centered approach. Krista shares her top ten considerations for those contemplating divorce, emphasizing the children’s best interests. She highlights the importance of identifying subtle forms of abuse, such as coercive control, and discusses the potential for reconciliation in non-abusive relationships. She also underscores the value of seeking expert guidance and the value of contemplating legal separation as a potentially better first step as an alternative to divorce. Krista addresses the challenges of co-parenting and financial management post-divorce. She explains how the legal system prioritizes the child’s best interests in parenting time and decision-making, discussing the impact of shared parenting responsibilities and common conflicts. She delves into income imputation complexities in child support and spousal maintenance cases and explores changes in parenti...
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077: “Affirmative” Coparenting – Yes it’s Possible! – with expert Allen Levy

Allen Levy, master’s level psychologist and shared parenting educator, returns to the Children First Family Law Podcast for a conversation that goes well beyond the courtroom. Krista picks up where their last episode left off — exploring what it really takes for co-parents to function as professional colleagues, even when the relationship that brought them together has ended. Al introduces his Affirmative Arts framework: a practical philosophy built around affirmative communication, emotional self-management, and the discipline of focusing on what you will do rather than what you can’t, won’t, or don’t. The conversation covers dangerous words that quietly ignite conflict — including “should have,” “why,” and even “best interest” — and how small shifts in language can change everything. Al also shares details on his upcoming shared parenting curriculum, designed to give parents, attorneys, and mental health professionals a concrete, affordable tool for doing the job of co-parenting r...
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Why Structure Is One of the Most Powerful Tools a Divorcing Parent Has

When families separate, the instinct to ease the pain is natural. Parents loosen rules, skip routines, and look the other way on bedtimes. It feels like compassion. But for children navigating the upheaval of divorce, that instinct often works against them. Structure — consistent, calm, and predictable — is not a burden on children during hard times. It is a lifeline. Structure Reduces Anxiety Children do not experience structure as restriction. They experience it as safety. When a child knows what time dinner is, what the bedtime routine looks like, and what the consequences are for stepping outside established limits, they do not have to spend emotional energy wondering. That energy stays available for the harder work of adjusting to a new family reality. Anxiety fills the space that structure leaves empty — and removing routines during divorce does not give children room to breathe. It gives anxiety room to grow. The Guilt Trap Divorce guilt is real and powerful. Parents who fee...
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