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Screens, Smartphones, and Divorce: What Every Co-Parent Needs to Know

Co-parenting in a digital world can feel like fighting a battle on two fronts: family conflict on one side, relentless technology on the other. When kids move between homes, inconsistent rules around phones, gaming, and social media can create confusion, resentment, and real developmental risks. How Screens Shape Childhood in Two Homes Screens are no longer a single device in the living room. They are watches, tablets, laptops, gaming consoles, and phones that travel between households. For kids, this can mean two entirely different digital realities, depending on which parent they are with. When rules clash, children quickly learn to “forum shop” for the more permissive environment. That can undermine both parents’ authority and make collaboration even harder. Why Age and Stage Matter The research is clear: younger children need far less screen time and far more face-to-face interaction. Early childhood and adolescence are particularly sensitive periods for brain development. Hig...
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089: Balancing Evidence-Collection and Peacekeeping when Proving Child Safety Issues: An Interview with Author and Divorce Survivor Cheryl Palmar

Join Krista on the Children First Family Law Podcast to explore the compelling story of Cheryl Palmar, a best-selling author in the United States and Australia who transformed her life despite the turmoil of a troubled marriage. In this episode, Cheryl shares her journey from heartache to empowerment, revealing the emotional and legal battles she encountered while navigating a marriage with a highly functioning alcoholic partner. Along the way, however, she found that with careful planning and evidence collection, she was able to accomplish and amicable divorce with a full settlement despite the potential that her case could have ended up as yet another story of toxic litigation. Cheryl’s candid narrative offers insight into the complex process of securing a future for herself and her daughter. She discusses the importance of gathering evidence, seeking legal guidance, and the strategic steps she took to ensure their safety. Her experience highlights the necessity of having a st...
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Toxic Stress in Children of Divorce: What Parents Need to Know

When parents separate, children experience more than schedule changes and new homes. Their bodies and brains are constantly responding to stress. Some stress is normal and even growth‑promoting. The danger arises when it becomes toxic. Types of Stress in Kids   Positive stress : Short-lived challenges like a big game or first day at a new school. With support, this builds confidence.   Negative stress : Disappointments and losses — failing a test, not making a team — that can be processed and healed.   Acute stress : Stress tied to one event with a clear end. Chronic stress : Ongoing tension, such as persistent conflict at home.   Toxic stress is chronic negative stress without adequate buffering from caring, stable adults and predictable routines.   How Toxic Stress Affects the Brain   Children’s brains are still under construction, especially the prefrontal cortex, which supports:   Impulse control   Judgment and decision-making   Planning and problem-solving   When kid...
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088: Screens, Smartphones, and Divorce: What Every Co-Parent Needs to Know with Chris Perry

Childhood is being reshaped by screens, and co-parents are often on the front lines of that change. In this episode, we sit down with Chris Perry, Executive Director of Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, to unpack what the research really shows about kids, tech, and two-home families. We explore how smartphones, social media, gaming, and even emerging AI companions affect children’s brain development, mental health, and capacity for real-world connection. Chris explains how conflicting technology rules between households can heighten conflict, confuse kids, and undermine healthy boundaries — and how co-parents can realign around child-centered guidelines. Listeners learn why struggle, experimentation, and face-to-face interaction are irreplaceable for healthy development, and why relying on devices or chatbots as “easy” solutions can quietly erode those experiences. The conversation offers research-backed, practical takeaways to help parents, co-...
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087: What Every Divorcing Parent Needs to Know About Toxic Stress and Children with Mindy Mitnick, Recipient of AFCC’s 2026 Distinguished Service Award

What if the way adults handle conflict during divorce could actually reshape a child’s developing brain? In this conversation, we talk with renowned psychologist and AFCC Distinguished Service Award recipient, Mindy Mitnick, about what toxic stress really is — and why every divorcing parent needs to understand it. Drawing on nearly five decades working with family courts, parenting time and decision making disputes, high-conflict separations, and complex parent–child dynamics, Mindy explains the crucial differences between positive, negative, acute, chronic, and toxic stress. She breaks down how ongoing conflict, fear, and instability can interfere with the development of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, judgment, and problem-solving. Krista and Mindy also look closely at everyday moments that quietly shape a child’s inner world: how (and whether) parents talk to kids about divorce, what happens when one parent is subtly undermined, and h...
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086: What to Look for in Therapeutic Resources for Your Children with Psychologist Dr. Kathleen McNamara

Join us for an insightful discussion with Dr. Kathleen McNamara, a seasoned psychologist with nearly 40 years of experience, as she shares her expertise at the intersection of family law and psychology. In this episode of Children First Family Law, we delve into the intricacies of child-parent relationships, emphasizing the need to separate relationship issues from parenting logistics. Dr. McNamara’s extensive career, spanning academia, clinical practice, and policy-making, enriches our exploration of child-centered strategies that place children’s needs at the forefront in legal contexts. We examine the impact of recent legislative changes and the complexities surrounding terms like alienation and gaslighting. Dr. McNamara advocates for moving beyond labels to focus on specific behaviors and their effects on family dynamics. The episode also highlights Kayden’s Law and the evolving role of best-interests attorneys – called Child Legal Representatives in Colorado – ...
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When Divorce Becomes a War Nobody Wins

Divorce is hard. That is not a controversial statement. What is controversial, at least within the family law world, is the idea that the hardest parts of divorce are often manufactured by the process itself rather than the conflict between the two people in it. Most families restructuring after separation face somewhere between 250 and 350 distinct issues to resolve. Very few of those issues actually require a judge. The ones that do get litigated tend to consume an outsized share of the family’s money, attention, and emotional reserves, leaving far less capacity for the harder work of actually raising children in two homes. The Hidden Cost of Litigation The financial argument against litigation is well-documented, but the emotional one rarely gets the attention it deserves. When a divorce is moderately contested, the average recovery time back to psychological and emotional baseline is roughly two years. A litigated divorce can stretch that to five or more. Those are not abs...
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