Posts

Businesslike Communication for High Conflict Co-Parents

When traditional co-parenting turns every interaction into an argument, many parents feel stuck between constant conflict and total cutoff. Parallel parenting offers a third option, one that protects children while lowering day-to-day tension between adults. What Parallel Parenting Really Means Parallel parenting is not blocking your ex, refusing to share information, or pretending the other parent does not exist. It is a structured way of parenting where communication is limited to what is necessary for the child. You still share medical updates, school information, activities, emergencies, and any changes that materially affect your child. The guiding idea is simple: less unnecessary contact, not less responsibility. The “Two Tracks, One Train” Picture Think of two train tracks. They never intersect, but they must stay aligned for the train to stay on the rails. The train represents your child. If one track veers away, the train derails. In the same way, parents can live separat...
Post a Comment
Read more

101: Introducing a New Partner To Your Children After Divorce

New romantic partners after divorce can feel like hope for parents and yet another upheaval for kids. We explore how children actually experience a parent’s dating life, drawing on long-term research about stepfamilies, loyalty conflicts, and the impact of repeated relationship changes. Listeners learn why stable, slower-paced introductions matter, how age shapes a child’s reaction, and why one-on-one time with each parent remains essential.  Krista lays out a clear ladder-style framework for introducing a partner, from first conversations with your co-parent and kids, to brief neutral meetings, to carefully timed overnights and cohabitation. We also look at Colorado law on parenting plans, morality clauses, and what courts really require before limiting parenting time because of a new partner.  Throughout, Krista offers guidance for both the dating parent and the non-dating parent so families can reduce conflict, protect children, and build steadier blended family relati...
Post a Comment
Read more

How Kids Cope With Conflict Between Divorced Parents

A ten year old does not need to sit in a courtroom to know something is wrong between her parents. She hears it in a voice at pickup, sees it in a look exchanged over a backpack, feels it in the silence after a text message goes unanswered. For years, the guidance given to separated and divorced parents boiled down to one rule: conflict is bad for kids, so get rid of it. Newer research tells a more useful story, and it starts with a distinction most families never hear. How Parents Handle Conflict Matters More Than Whether It Happens Divorce alone does not determine how a child turns out. Most kids whose parents separate do fine over the long run. The strongest predictor of poor outcomes is destructive conflict, not separation itself, meaning yelling, blaming, or pulling a child into the middle of a disagreement. Constructive conflict looks different. Parents disagree, work through it, and model repair in front of their kids, and that experience can teach a child a skill worth having...
Post a Comment
Read more

100: Parallel Parenting — Two Train Tracks, One Child

Divorce may end a marriage, but it does not end the responsibility to raise a child together . We explore what parallel parenting really means when cooperative co-parenting feels impossible. Krista reframes parallel parenting as a way to reduce unnecessary conflict while still sharing essential information and supporting one child moving between two homes. We look at how chronic conflict harms kids, what children actually notice and internalize, and the subtle ways loyalty binds show up. Krista walks through strategies for calmer, businesslike communication, using parenting apps, structuring exchanges to protect children from tension, and drafting specific, child-centered parenting plans. We also touch on when added support can help, and how safety concerns and domestic violence change the analysis. In this episode, you will hear: What parallel parenting is and what it is not The “two train tracks, one train” analogy for co-parenting after divorce How chronic conflict and loyal...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parallel Parenting When Co-Parenting Isn’t Possible: Protecting Your Kids in High-Conflict Situations

Key Takeaways Parallel parenting is still co-parenting. You can put more distance between the adults, but you can’t step away from your shared responsibility to your child. Parallel parenting cuts unnecessary communication, not necessary communication. Medical, school, and emergency information, major activities, and significant changes still have to be shared. Chronic conflict harms kids more than two households do. Children pick up on tone, body language, and contempt, and they often feel caught in loyalty binds. Specific parenting plans reduce conflict. Clear terms for vacations, holidays, exchanges, and decisions build guardrails around the conflict instead of walls between parents. Parallel parenting is often temporary. The goal is whatever level of cooperation serves your child best, not a rigid label. Introduction When a divorce is full of conflict, the idea of never dealing with your ex again can sound like relief. That’s usually what parents picture wh...
Post a Comment
Read more

Guardianship or Custody? Choosing the Right Legal Path for a Child You’re Raising

Image
Grandma has been raising her grandson for months. She feeds him, gets him to school, sits with him when he’s scared at two in the morning. Then a school secretary looks at his birth certificate, doesn’t see her name, and asks a question that stops her cold: are you his legal guardian ? In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista Nash talks with Colorado attorney Lisa Shellenberger, managing partner at Setter Roche Smith & Shellenberger, LLP, who practices at the intersection of domestic relations, juvenile law, and probate guardianship. Lisa and Krista walk through what happens when someone other than a parent needs real legal authority to care for a child, and why the wrong choice of legal path at the outset can cost a family months of unnecessary conflict. Guardianship and Custody Solve Different Problems Most family lawyers instinctively file in domestic court, the venue most people associate with divorce and custody. But as Lisa explains, tha...
Post a Comment
Read more

099: The Surprisingly Simple Tool That Helps Kids Through Divorce with Dr. Karey O’Hara

Krista Nash welcomes back Dr. Karey O’Hara for this episode, following up on research first introduced on an earlier visit to the podcast. Parents going through separation or divorce are often told that conflict is bad for their kids, but Karey, a psychologist and researcher at Arizona State University, explains why that message misses the point. Karey and her team spent years studying children ages nine to twelve living through high conflict divorce, testing which coping strategies actually help and whether combining several works better than relying on one alone. The results surprised even the research team. One simple strategy, relaxation, outperformed the rest. Karey walks through what happens in a child’s body during parental conflict, what parents should avoid doing in those moments, and how a free program from her lab lets families put the findings into practice right away. It’s a hopeful, practical conversation for any parent trying to protect their kids am...
Post a Comment
Read more