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Babies, Divorce, and the First Four Years: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Why the First Four Years Matter During the first four years, a child’s brain develops rapidly. Everyday care helps shape how a baby experiences safety, trust, and feelings. Separation changes family routines, so parenting decisions should reflect the child’s age, relationships, and circumstances, not adult ideas of equal time alone. Attachment Means Reliance Attachment describes a child’s bond of reliance on a caregiver, especially when frightened, tired, or upset. It is different from a parent’s love. Babies can form meaningful attachments with both parents, though each relationship develops through its own pattern of care. Predictable, warm responses help a child feel secure enough to return to play and learning. Choose Care With the Child in Mind No single schedule suits every infant or toddler. Consider whether the child is safe with each parent, whether a trusting relationship is established, and how well parents can share information and coordinate care. Research discussed b...
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107: Do Your Job!: How to Parent after Divorce, with Alaska’s Allen Levy MS LPA

In today’s episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista Nash welcomes Allen Levy, an Anchorage-based mental health professional and parenting educator, for a direct and thoughtful discussion on how to parent after divorce. Allen draws from over two decades of work with high-conflict families to explain why parenting after separation needs to be treated as a job share, not an emotional battleground. He shares the framework behind his post-separation parenting curriculum, which was developed through years of real-world experience and is now utilized in workshops, therapy sessions, and court-ordered education. This approach teaches parents to focus on four core duties: communication, decision-making, problem-solving, and conflict resolution across key parenting domains like education, healthcare, and family routines. Through structured rules, concrete strategies, and clear analogies, Allen reframes co-parenting as professional conduct, not emotional entanglement. The result...
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Social Media and Your Custody Case: What Judges See, What It Costs You, and How to Protect Yourself

Key Takeaways Your posts can absolutely become evidence. Social media shows up in Colorado custody cases all the time — as hearing exhibits, through discovery, and on cross-examination. “Private” is a setting, not a legal privilege. One screenshot from a mutual friend sends private material straight to your ex, and relevant posts can be discoverable anyway. Don’t delete anything without talking to your attorney. Once litigation starts, you have a duty to preserve evidence, and deleting can create a spoliation problem worse than the original post. Patterns matter more than one bad post. Child advocates look for repeated public disparagement, contradictions, and an inability to keep adult conflict away from the kids. You have free speech rights, but a court can still weigh what you said. Whether a judge can prohibit speech is a separate question from whether your words are relevant evidence. Introduction It’s 11:40 on a Friday night. Your ex was suppo...
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106: Babies, Divorce, and the First Four Years: What Every Parent Needs to Know — with Dr. Jenn McIntosh

Babies cannot tell us what separation feels like, but their behavior can show when change is hard. We are joined by Professor Jennifer McIntosh to consider what infants and toddlers need when parents separate. We learn that attachment is a child’s reliance on caregivers for comfort and security, and that babies can form bonds with both parents.  Rather than treat overnights or equal time as universal answers, we consider safety, existing relationships, parental cooperation, and developmental stage when shaping parenting plans. We look at research suggesting frequent moves may pose challenges for children under two, while avoiding rigid rules or gender-based claims.  The episode ends with ways to assess arrangements and recognize signs of stress so the process can be as easy as possible for younger kids. In this episode, you will hear: Infant development and the first four years Attachment as a child’s bond of trust and reliance Safety and existing relationships as guides for pa...
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Your Custody Case Starts Before Court: How What You Say, Do & Post Can Shape the Outcome

Your Record Starts Early Many parents assume a custody case begins when they file the paperwork. Yet daily conduct may become part of the record long before court. Messages, social posts, recordings, and choices during conflict can shape how others view a parent’s judgment, communication, and focus on the children. Keep Communication Calm Pause before sending a message and reread it. Sarcasm, profanity, threats, and repeated texts can look harsher in writing, especially when readers see only a short excerpt. Keep replies brief, respectful, and focused on the child. If upset, wait until you can respond calmly. Take Responsibility And Show Change Taking responsibility can protect credibility. Discuss mistakes candidly with your lawyer rather than denying what evidence shows. Explain what you learned, then follow through on steps such as parenting classes, counseling, or recommended testing. Change does not erase the past, but it shows effort to improve. Keep Useful Records Keep ac...
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105: Will Divorce Ruin My Kids? 10 Co-Parenting Strategies to Protect Your Child’s Emotional Health

In this episode, Krista speaks directly to parents who are lying awake at night asking the same question: Is this going to ruin my kids? Drawing from decades of experience as an attorney, mediator, parenting coordinator, and child advocate, Krista unpacks a hard truth—divorce itself does not automatically damage children, but chronic conflict and poor co-parenting absolutely can. She walks through ten practical, immediately usable strategies to lower tension and protect a child’s emotional safety. Krista shares real stories from her work with families, highlighting how tone, structure, exchanges, and emotional regulation shape a child’s long-term wellbeing. Divorce handled with maturity and intention can still raise secure, emotionally healthy children—and that choice starts with the adults. In this episode, you will hear: Why divorce itself does not automatically damage children but chronic conflict does Ten practical strategies to reduce co parenting tension and protect emotio...
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Social Media With Your Custody Case

What Judges See, What It Costs You, and How to Protect Yourself A post written in anger can resurface months later in a custody dispute. Photos, comments, stories, dating profiles, check-ins, and messages may all become relevant if they shed light on a parent’s conduct or a child’s well-being. Before sharing, consider who might see the post beyond your intended audience. How Social Media Can Enter Court In Colorado, courts decide parenting arrangements by considering the child’s best interests. Social media may offer time-stamped information about a parent’s activities, statements, or location. Posts can be shared during discovery or offered as evidence. The person presenting them may need to show they are authentic, but familiar details, photos, or account information can help establish that. A parent’s own statements may also be offered against them. A private account does not create legal privilege, and screenshots can circulate beyond a selected group of followers. Posts That ...
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