Children First Family Law

In this episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista welcomes Nil Buckley, a licensed professional counselor, licensed addiction counselor, and domestic violence clinical supervisor whose expertise bridges trauma-informed mental health, forensic evaluation, and family law. Nil is the founder of Vivas Counseling and Care Forensic Solutions and creator of The CARE Method, an evidence-based program now used in multiple states to support both survivors and offenders. Her background includes extensive work with the Colorado Department of Corrections, court-ordered treatment programs, and expert testimony in criminal and domestic relations cases. Drawing from this deep professional experience, Nil joins Krista to explore how coercive control and its related forms, including legal abuse, financial manipulation, and psychological coercion, show up in custody cases and family court. She explains that there are now 24 recognized forms of abuse in the global research literat...

When relationships end, people often talk about their pets like children. The emotional bond is real, but dogs and cats have very different needs than kids. Treating an animal like a child can unintentionally create stress, anxiety, and even behavior problems. Loving a pet well in the context of a breakup means asking a different question: “What is best for this animal as an animal?” not “How do I treat them like my child?” How Breed, Age, and Health Shape Custody Decisions Not all dogs cope with shared homes in the same way. Herding breeds and guard dogs are often deeply attached to one person or one territory, which can make frequent moves confusing and destabilizing. Toy breeds and smaller dogs may be more physically vulnerable to stress. Age, medical issues, and prior trauma also matter. A younger, resilient dog with solid routines is more likely to adapt than an anxious senior dog with health problems. Dogs, Cats, and the Myth of Easy Sharing Dogs are generally easier to move ...

When families separate, deciding who keeps the dog can feel just as emotional as any other part of the breakup. In this episode, we explore why pet disputes become so charged and how to make decisions that truly prioritize both kids and animals. We walk through why it’s crucial not to treat pets like children in divorce, how their needs differ, and what happens when those lines get blurred. Karis explains how breed, personality, age, health, and history all factor into whether a dog can realistically move between homes, and why shared pet parenting often creates more stress than comfort for the animal. We also talk about cats, “roommate” animals, bonded pairs, and why territory matters so much. Parents, professionals, and pet lovers will learn practical ways to evaluate what’s actually best for the dog, how to structure trial arrangements, and how to balance children’s attachment with responsible, long-term planning for their four-legged family members. In this episode, you will he...

Co-parenting in a digital world can feel like fighting a battle on two fronts: family conflict on one side, relentless technology on the other. When kids move between homes, inconsistent rules around phones, gaming, and social media can create confusion, resentment, and real developmental risks. How Screens Shape Childhood in Two Homes Screens are no longer a single device in the living room. They are watches, tablets, laptops, gaming consoles, and phones that travel between households. For kids, this can mean two entirely different digital realities, depending on which parent they are with. When rules clash, children quickly learn to “forum shop” for the more permissive environment. That can undermine both parents’ authority and make collaboration even harder. Why Age and Stage Matter The research is clear: younger children need far less screen time and far more face-to-face interaction. Early childhood and adolescence are particularly sensitive periods for brain development. Hig...

Join Krista on the Children First Family Law Podcast to explore the compelling story of Cheryl Palmar, a best-selling author in the United States and Australia who transformed her life despite the turmoil of a troubled marriage. In this episode, Cheryl shares her journey from heartache to empowerment, revealing the emotional and legal battles she encountered while navigating a marriage with a highly functioning alcoholic partner. Along the way, however, she found that with careful planning and evidence collection, she was able to accomplish and amicable divorce with a full settlement despite the potential that her case could have ended up as yet another story of toxic litigation. Cheryl’s candid narrative offers insight into the complex process of securing a future for herself and her daughter. She discusses the importance of gathering evidence, seeking legal guidance, and the strategic steps she took to ensure their safety. Her experience highlights the necessity of having a st...

When parents separate, children experience more than schedule changes and new homes. Their bodies and brains are constantly responding to stress. Some stress is normal and even growth‑promoting. The danger arises when it becomes toxic. Types of Stress in Kids   Positive stress : Short-lived challenges like a big game or first day at a new school. With support, this builds confidence.   Negative stress : Disappointments and losses — failing a test, not making a team — that can be processed and healed.   Acute stress : Stress tied to one event with a clear end. Chronic stress : Ongoing tension, such as persistent conflict at home.   Toxic stress is chronic negative stress without adequate buffering from caring, stable adults and predictable routines.   How Toxic Stress Affects the Brain   Children’s brains are still under construction, especially the prefrontal cortex, which supports:   Impulse control   Judgment and decision-making   Planning and problem-solving   When kid...